A 45-year-old fat man trying to find his inner skinny dude.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Habit or Complacency

Here's what I've noticed.  Back in April when I started really paying attention to what I was eating, I felt focused to the point of obsession.  I tracked all my food (still do), and I really felt as though I were "working hard" at losing weight.  Which meant, working hard at refraining from mindless eating.

I don't feel as focused now.  This actually scares me.  I was thinking about this:  how can I get back on track?  But then I realized, I'm not actually off-track.  I've been remarkably consistent and careful about how I eat now for several months.  I find that even when I have the caloric capacity to eat something that's not overly nutritious (donut, scone, whatever), I find that for the calories involved, I'd rather have a turkey sandwich.  I actually feel better eating better food.  But this concept of "not trying" still makes me nervous. 

The good news is, I think that means that eating well--good food, not too much--has become a habit, more or less.  There are still foods that I find it difficult not to overeat.  Last night's pizza is one such example.  I might be thinking about this because of last night.  As a practical matter, one pizza orgy night is not going to ruin me.  But it will slow me down, and that's disappointing.

Anyway, I'm trying to get over the nervousness of feeling comfortable with a new way of life.  Weird, right?  Weird but nice, in a way.  I don't feel deprived.  I feel as though I'm actually taking care of myself.  I kind of like it. 

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