A 45-year-old fat man trying to find his inner skinny dude.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010


Confession.  I gained a pound over Thanksgiving.  Damn.

Ok, here’s the thing.  I don’t really think I did, despite what the scale says.  And even if I did, I don’t think it’s fat.  I have been working out again, somewhat regularly.  I’ve been tracking consistently.  Yes, I went over a bit last week, but by about 500 calories, not 3500.

So where’d that pound come from?  Who the hell knows?  As a practical matter, I don’t think you can draw any conclusions at the margin.  What I know is that a few weeks ago, I was tired of weighing the same (give or take) for more than a month.  That was three (or four) pounds ago.  The trend is down.  This is good.

Some other indicators are good, too.  My watch is starting to roll around my wrist, meaning the band is too big.  Almost too big.  Heh.  I’ve already tightened it one notch.  Another notch is a win.  Also, the skin.  I have some loose skin. 

Now, I lost about 120 pounds when I was in college.  I had a fair amount of loose skin back then.  Before I got a chance to have it removed, I gained weight.  I was stupid back then.  I thought, cool, I’m cured.  I was not cured.  And I put back on about 180 pounds.  I can’t believe it, either.  I’m own 80, and I want to get back down to where I was.

Back to the skin.  When I spread my arms out, you can see the skin hanging down.  Near my elbows, it actually wrinkles.  The skin above my belly button is all wrinkly, too.  Sound gross?  Maybe.  But I’m psyched.  This is progress.  The skin is not being pulled tight by fat.  It’s being pulled down by gravity.  So awesome.

My wife tells me that once I get to where I want to be and stay there for a while (six months, a year), she’s ok with my getting surgery.  And I want it.  She pointed out that the scars will be pretty serious.  She’s right.  I’ve seen pictures of people who have had tummy tucks.  The scarring is significant.  She pointed out that I won’t be comfortable at the beach.  Also true.  But I have never in my life been comfortable at a beach.  No loss there.  (I’m fascinated by guys who are ok with taking off their shirts and women who can run around in tiny bikinis.  I wonder what that would be like.  I’ll never know.)  I actually fear surgery, but I’m not ruling it out.  It would be really cool to be actually thin.

So, thinner wrists, loose skin.  They trump the one pound up.  I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing. 

1 comment:

  1. I say keep your options open. When you get there, then you can make a decision. What I think is, loose skin is easier to hide than fat, and scars are easier to hide than loose skin! Like you say, you've never been comfortable at the beach, so what the heck :)

    I guess I'll never know about the tiny bikini thing either, because even if I got to my perfect weight, at my age it's not a good choice.