Can't Help It

I know I haven't written much lately, and if you're waiting to read this blog, I apologize.  There's been a lot going on.

First, in the last month, I have gone to the hospital every day because my wife or kids or all three have been there.  The kids are still there and will be for a few weeks.  Nothing is wrong with them except that they are young.  Once they learn to eat and breathe at the same time, they'll come home.

This is the first time in a year that I've really fallen off the weightloss wagon.  Despite the fact that the hospital is only ten minutes from my house, I have felt serious time pressure, and I've needed to rely on convenience foods.  Specifically doughnut.  There are something like ten doughnut shops between my house and the hospital.  I feel as if the proprietors all know me.  In fact, one gave me an extra doughnut the other day because I've been such a good customer.  That was the bump I needed, I think.  I mean, I could have been going to the Subway next door.  Right?  Right?  Do I hear an amen?

Who knew doughnuts were a trigger food for me?  Sometimes people bring them to the office, and I have been quite good at ignoring them.  Well, not ignoring them.  I look at them, and then I decide I don't want them.  It's food porn. 

I turned 45 yesterday.  I would like to lose another 40-50 pounds this year (he says, breakfasting on birthday cake).  I owe it to myself and to my new babies, who have no visible means of support.  (Don't they come with a dowry?  Oh wait--)  I have put on 3-4 pounds in the last month.  It's the stress.  The eating of feelings.  I think, however, I'm over it, for a while anyway.  Another year would be good.  All told, it's not horrible, and I am smaller than I was a year ago at this time.  I don't even notice the 3-4 pounds except on the scale.  But the trend is not what I want.

I think I'm rambling now.  Here's a nice picture.

Nutritional Knowledge on a Macro Level

The other night, about 3am, I had an idea for a blog entry.  It was some horrible thing someone had done to me when I was a kid.  When I woke up, it was gone.  I've been trying to remember it for a couple of days.  Must not be that big a deal, right?  Riiiight.  It'll come back.  Those things always do.

But here's something.  I have noticed for a long time how accepted theories of nutrition change from time to time.  Remember how fat made you fat?  Now fats (good fats--in ifish, nuts, avocados, etc., not from red meat) are a known desirable part of any diet.  Remember how margarine was supposed to be better than butter.  Now it's not--trans fats are bad, and margarine is much more heavily processed than butter.

When I was in first or second grade, we were told that pizza is the perfect food.  That's because it was made of all four food groups:  milk, fruits and vegetables, breads and cereals, and meat.  Hell, even the four food groups aren't around anymore.  Now we have a pyramid.  Still, pizza as the perfect food!  That was music to my ears. 

I have been learning these past few months, about what foods are useful to me and what foods can make me their bitch by their very existence.  Pizza is tough.  If I am in control, my powers of resolve can limit my intake.  Not getting meat on it helps, too.  But if I'm tired or sad or agitated, forget it.  I can eat mine and yours.  I can want more.  It doesn't even have to be particularly good pizza. 

I also really believe that not all calories are the same.  In the last several weeks, my consumption of processed foods had risen (if not my calories).  I've slowed that down, am eating more "real" food, and my weight has dropped a bit.  I'm working out a bit more, too, but I think the food matters more than the gym.  In any event, I know that I feel better with real food.  And it is very rare for me to find a kind of candy or dessert that I think is worth the calories.  That doesn't mean I won't eat them.  I have it on good authority that some of my mom's Christmas cookies are on the way.  I'll eat them and like them.  But not all of them.  And I won't love them.  Amazingly, I LOVE the ripe pears from Harry & David.  Those are worth every calorie. 

The point is that all food presents a learning experience (or a reminder).  Lots of calories aren't going to screw me up.  They will, however, slow me down.